So other than needing to answer inevitable personal questions - why do we try to explain our inexplicable personal histories to others? Why do we engage in personal storytelling?
We or I explain because we’re human. Most humans need one another and we connect by trying to know one another. We also strive to be known. If we don’t try to summarize in a world where we live apart and unseen most of the time, we are ultimately disconnected. We are actors - only approximating humans to one another.
There are days when I think that many things in my life cannot and do not make sense to others but I don’t stop trying to find meaning for myself. This is the essential part.
Whether or not I can articulate meaning to others is unclear. True compassion is scarcely possible because what justice can a summary statement do? How can I be understood by way of a short explanation?
Nevertheless, I feel compelled to create summaries. I enjoy being connected even when I’m physically completely disconnected. I know and accept that I’ll never be truly understood. I’ll reach an approximation and then I’ll have to repeat myself over and over. Each time, I’ll try to explain the inexplicable and, all the while, I realize that my own awareness may be changing too.
Honestly, I’ll never give up trying to understand myself and others. Storytelling is a natural extension of the process for me. We evolve and so does the story. In sum…the best question for me is: With all we have to learn and share, why should we fail to record our histories?
We are leaving the Bay Area and returning to Baxter Bear and Fresno in Central California at the foot of Yosemite today to celebrate my mom’s 70th birthday with friends and family tomorrow. In an attempt to see long lost friends near San Francisco - I made promises to stop there next week before driving back to Phoenix.
I miss being with kindred spirits from days gone by. It’s time to socialize a little more in the company of people I know well and trust. I like the familiar scenery of the Bay Area too.
Though this trip started in Baltimore, my life started in California. It’s one of the homes I’ve always returned to throughout my life. Who knows what will happen this time. I’m changed and places change too. Certainly prices do. So much depends on fit. Let’s see…that’s all I can say really.
We are north of San Francisco in wine country. I’m with mom and John and we made it north through the Silicon Valley and through the 101…. without breaking down and crying in traffic. I do hope we’ll see a little wine country while were here!
On a sad note for me- The Bear is in a doggy kennel…. He’s celebrated so many holidays near my side since he was born. I miss having him close but there’s no room at the Inn so to speak. It’s all about other family for now. We’ll reunite Friday or Saturday.
Mom is celebrating a big birthday today through Sunday. Let’s make it count. A turkey with candles!!
Oh boo boo. I guess I’m a softie for Baxter Bear. What can a mother do- we’ve been adventuring together through thick and thin for awhile now. Who’ll bark at the coyotes outside now??!!