I’m on day four of a 90 minute, 105 degree strict yoga routine. I’ve been through some painful, exasperating moments. I’ve reduced myself to a watery puddle and faced my weaknesses head on- in front of a mirror. It’s humbling. It’s freeing. It’s making me sleep more deeply and inspiring me to treat myself better throughout the day.
Best of all- the stretches are enabling me to use more muscles in everyday activities.
I needed this. I am my body and it is me - for now anyway…so it’s time to make friends again.
iridiium said: Where did you take the picture of you and Baxter Bear? (the one on the top of your blog) I'm curious because it looks beautiful!
Thank you for your comments and question- I recommend you go to the park on the trails in Flagstaff, AZ. It’s as beautiful as it looks in the photo!
@Iridium The photo of Baxter Bear by himself was taken at the top of Cathedral Rock near Sedona. I love this hike. There are many paths below the rock. We were so happy with the view in fact- I would have gotten lost in the dark on the way back but Baxter helped me get back on the trail back to the car. Although this part of the world is lovely and natural it can be very disorienting in the dark. I briefly considered sleeping there without supplies but was happier to have the Bear lead me out. His instructions were “find the trail” and “find the car”. He understood because I’d taught him find, trail and car.
With all our knowledge- our prediction models are usually off. Even the weather and earthquake scientists often get it wrong. The stock market analysts are more like astrologers these days… All the same, we do our best to understand the past, so we can shape or predict the future. We search the past for knowledge, truth, lies, mistakes, successes, losses, gains and patterns. And sometimes all we find is confusion- no lessons to learn except that anything is possible. The Unbearable Lightness of being- as Milan Kundera so aptly put it.
Today I found something I lost a year ago. At the time, I felt the loss like a tragic blow to my sternum. But unlike Houdini, I kept the magic flowing in the middle of the loss- as I watched everything dear to me evaporate into thin air. I battled for strength, income and solid ground - even as I moved. But boy oh boy did it feel like the final blow. My prediction now is that tomorrow- will arrive on time.
Thank you. Thank you friend for finding my computer a continent away -in your basement. Thank you for returning my cherished knowledge and resources -ideas, notes, international travel pictures and work that I failed to back up. I was terrified to lose them forever and after having retraced my steps and reopened my storage boxes, I finally gave up. This news leaves me speechless. There are no words - except tomorrow I think I’ll buy a backup hard drive…but who knows what tomorrow will bring??
Buddhists, philosophers and cognitive-behavioral therapists treating phobias have long recommended progressive relaxation combined with meditation on themes that you normally try to avoid thinking about. It’s counter-intuitive at first but you come to realise that anxiety is your mind’s way of telling you that you want to think about something that seems too dangerous at first to even consider- so you push it away. This pushing away of painful thoughts is the fitfulness of anxiety and it interferes with your ability to sleep and live moment to moment with love toward yourself and others.
Take a moment and think about that.
if you want to find peace on a topic, I am going to describe the process though I don’t pretend that this an easy homework assignment. But think of it this way, life as it is may be awfully hard for you right now. There may be nothing harder. So what do you have to lose?
Set time aside by yourself in a safe, quiet, peaceful, warm and comfortable place. Play soft music without any words and maybe light a candle with a scent that’s relaxing to you….But only if that helps you feel at ease. Then set a time limit and concentrate on a single topic that you normally try to avoid thinking about. Do not fall asleep- sitting up on a pillow or mat with your eyes closed and legs crossed will help. Set an alarm (shorter the first time and progressively longer after that) There are no real rules except don’t judge yourself- let your thoughts go where they want to go. Really think about this topic as much as you can- any way you can- like you’re a bird flying around a tree with many branches on which you can perch. Keep coming back to the tree if you stray away. And when the time is up- set the whole topic aside. Do not let your mind stray there during other times of your regular life. Remember that you have time set aside just for that. Put your concentration time on a schedule and know when it is. Keep coming back to this topic on different days but only think about it during scheduled “safe” meditation times. Eventually…(this will take time) you will find your peace and reconciliation with the topic or you may have questions to be investigated. Investigate and concentrate so you can eventually let the topic go with newfound understanding and eventually peace. You may fly to another tree or go home to nest.
Do this for each topic in your life that has caused you to avoid living in the here and now over the years. Remember- these are your darkest thoughts and memories- the ones you normally avoid thinking about. Perhaps these are the topics that make you want to escape in unhealthy ways with things like drugs, alcohol, cheating, lying, overworking, procrastinating, overeating or gambling…._____?….from THAT which you NEED most of all….Whatever that is for you….In the end- I think it’s LOVE. But that’s just my take on it.Kisses and good luck.