Buddhists, philosophers and cognitive-behavioral therapists treating phobias have long recommended progressive relaxation combined with meditation on themes that you normally try to avoid thinking about. It’s counter-intuitive at first but you come to realise that anxiety is your mind’s way of telling you that you want to think about something that seems too dangerous at first to even consider- so you push it away. This pushing away of painful thoughts is the fitfulness of anxiety and it interferes with your ability to sleep and live moment to moment with love toward yourself and others.
Take a moment and think about that.
if you want to find peace on a topic, I am going to describe the process though I don’t pretend that this an easy homework assignment. But think of it this way, life as it is may be awfully hard for you right now. There may be nothing harder. So what do you have to lose?
Set time aside by yourself in a safe, quiet, peaceful, warm and comfortable place. Play soft music without any words and maybe light a candle with a scent that’s relaxing to you….But only if that helps you feel at ease. Then set a time limit and concentrate on a single topic that you normally try to avoid thinking about. Do not fall asleep- sitting up on a pillow or mat with your eyes closed and legs crossed will help. Set an alarm (shorter the first time and progressively longer after that) There are no real rules except don’t judge yourself- let your thoughts go where they want to go. Really think about this topic as much as you can- any way you can- like you’re a bird flying around a tree with many branches on which you can perch. Keep coming back to the tree if you stray away. And when the time is up- set the whole topic aside. Do not let your mind stray there during other times of your regular life. Remember that you have time set aside just for that. Put your concentration time on a schedule and know when it is. Keep coming back to this topic on different days but only think about it during scheduled “safe” meditation times. Eventually…(this will take time) you will find your peace and reconciliation with the topic or you may have questions to be investigated. Investigate and concentrate so you can eventually let the topic go with newfound understanding and eventually peace. You may fly to another tree or go home to nest.
Do this for each topic in your life that has caused you to avoid living in the here and now over the years. Remember- these are your darkest thoughts and memories- the ones you normally avoid thinking about. Perhaps these are the topics that make you want to escape in unhealthy ways with things like drugs, alcohol, cheating, lying, overworking, procrastinating, overeating or gambling…._____?….from THAT which you NEED most of all….Whatever that is for you….In the end- I think it’s LOVE. But that’s just my take on it.Kisses and good luck.
I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy
because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless
and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.”
It’s better than the alternative.
Sometimes the goal is to have a goal so you can get to the other side of the mountain. The bear climbed over the mountain to see what he could see. We all know what he saw but that’s ok for now.
Baxter Bear looked grateful for my return from San Francisco. As I entered the garden, he stood on his hind legs till I approached and then he gave me his golden bear hug and winning, toothy smile! I don’t exaggerate when I say that he radiated pride in the park as he effortlessly bounded after my ball tosses with both paws fully extended. We have a winning partnership in life’s splendid game of catch.